that was some serious oscar fashion last night. i remember being so bummed about last year’s red carpet – everyone was being so restrained and overly conscious of not being excessive (stupid recession, ruining our fashion fun!). fortunately, it was all out the window this year. this year’s dresses were unbelievably over-the-top, not to mention oversized – there were impossibly huge ball skirts absolutely everywhere you turned! i fully expected an on-stage wardrobe malfunction, but i was sadly disappointed.

naturally, the awards are totally secondary to the commentary going on in my house about the fashion. i’m usually commenting so loudly about the presenters that i barely even hear the names of the nominees. and so, without further adieu, my list of the good, the bad, and the positively heinous.

first, the good (all photos, by the way, are from yahoo!’s completely excellent oscar photo coverage – definitely the place you want to stop to see the full looks!):

i thought penelope cruz was stunning in her pleated ruby ballgown from donna karan- a dress simply couldn’t be more flattering or elegant. and i adored the dreamy abstract print on rachel mcadams‘ almost-ethereal elie saab gown.

cameron diaz looked better than i think i’ve ever seen her (oscar de la renta can have that effect) – that silver gown is simply perfect. and even if maggie gyllenhaal could have picked something a bit more flattering to her beautiful figure, her dries van noten dress was gorgeous. i might have sacrificed some tummy camouflage for the chance to wear that beauty too.

kate winslet just owns a permanent spot on this list – i love every single thing that woman puts on, and last night’s sleek silver sheath by yves saint laurent was no exception. but the one who’s most likely to be overlooked is queen latifah, who i thought looked unbelievably gorgeous, and showed off her figure so perfectly. and last, but not least, honorary props to tom ford, because he’s just always beyond impeccable. we should all dress our men so well.

next up, a little ranting about some of the unfortunate “bad” that showed up on the red carpet:

for all that sarah jessica parker loves fashion, it makes me crazy that she continues to show up on the red carpet with these bizarre choices. this year’s choice from chanel isn’t the worst, but it just doesn’t do it for me. if i’m being honest, she might have escaped my “bad” list (i’d have just chalked it up to her generally unwise fashion sense), but for that awful tan and the fact that she was chewing gum when the cameras panned to her in the audience. really? gum? at the oscars? i have no words.

people seem sort of split about vera farmiga‘s gown, and i understand the dilemma. it is interesting to look at. sadly, however interesting, it’s hideously unflattering – the woman has a rockin’ body, and this just made her look twice her normal size.

charlize theron, i generally adore you, so i hate to say anything too harsh, but…boob rosettes? it’s hard to look any less than fabulous when you look like her, and yet she managed it. better luck next year, ladies.

and now, last – but most certainly, not least – my award for the truly, heinously ugly (drum roll, please…):

there’s one every year: that dress that just makes you wonder what someone was thinking when they spotted it and said “oh yes! that’s the dress! i definitely want to have my photo taken, viewed by millions and judged by critics for years while i’m wearing that.” zoe saldana (from avatar) really knocked it out of the ugly park with this tiered, ruffled, multitoned, glittery….whatever it is (by givenchy). when she showed up on the red carpet, i believe my comment was something along the lines of her needing to have someone remove the muppet clinging to her knees. part can-can, part showgirl, and one hundred percent deserving of the worst dressed award.

so, how’d i do? did we agree on the red carpet recap? what were your favorite hits and misses last night?

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