i’ve been so enchanted with anthropologie’s styling over the last couple of years, i was sort of shocked to hate their latest ensemble as much as i do.  so, it’s time for a little thursday snark.

please, whatever you do - do not wear a knee-length skirt with contrasting tights, ankle boots and this horrid sweater that i think i owned back in the early 1980s.  if you’re going to try the dicey ankle-boot-and-skirt trend, please see that your skirt is a mini, and that you have the gams to pull it off.  this longer skirt makes the ankle boots look positively frumpy, and focuses all of your attention on the model’s knees.  i have yet to meet someone with truly gorgeous knees, so i do my best to avoid spotlighting them.  skirts should really only exist in two lengths: they should either hit right at the point where your thighs narrow, or right at the base of your kneecap.  in my book, there really are no other acceptable lengths…unless you’re one of the 3 people on the planet who can pull off calf-length skirts (and even then, there must, must, must be some volume to the skirt, to avoid looking like a Mormon churchgoer).

i have no idea what’s going on with all of the highwaters in this shoot…just another error in judgment in a long chain.  highwaters are something i’ve never understood.  i mean, capris i understand.  i don’t necessarily agree, but i understand.  and a well-tailored, slim ankle-length pant can be positively audrey hepburn if you’re as pixie-like as she was.  but with the flare, and the bizarre footwear choices, this combination just looks like the model is wearing her little sister’s pants.

the rest of the looks really don’t warrant my full snarking attention…they’re just very meh.  i’ve become so accustomed to loving everything i see at anthro that it’s sort of restored my faith in the volatility of fashion to see how much i detest these latest offerings.

here’s hoping this is just a temporary lapse, and they haven’t changed stylists.  otherwise, we’re in for a rocky road ahead…

i remember the days when lucky arriving in my mailbox was the highlight of my month. lately, though, it feels like little more than a catalog, with a few useful coupons in the back. am i the only one?

anyway, it’s gotten to the point that i really feel the highlights of any issue can usually be summed up in about 5 minutes. let’s see if i’m right…

p. 86: i kind of liked that peach suede clutch by hype ($125, no online sourcing, sadly) - but probably not enough to buy it.

p. 95: i did love a couple of these ‘ethereal tanks’ - particularly the ones by eva franco (also, annoyingly, no online sourcing - are we sensing a trend?) and forever 21, the token bargain throw-in. the forever 21 version is long gone from the website, naturally, but you can get 25% off the eva franco top if you love it enough to call & order (see p. 254).

p. 243: randomly useful write-up on shopping in oakland, CA…hey, this i can actually use! you know, if i remember to tear out the page and not lose it in the sea of paper on my desk.

p. 247: love that knit necklace by jorge morales…and it’s under $100. fabulous!

p. 249: ooh, gorjana discount code?? hmm. no…just another stupid giveaway. how i’ve never won, given the sheer quantity of lucky mag giveaways i’ve entered, baffles the mind and defies any odds i can come up with.

p. 252: hmm, 25% off at hayden-harnett (code luckybreaks4) and tulle (code luckybreaks2)…that’s not bad. off to browse now…

p. 258 (for you bay area girls): that laptop case is actually pretty cute, and again, a rare under-$100 find. and, wait, is that online sourcing i see?? surely not!

hmm. yeah, that’s about it. glad i’m only spending $12/year on this.

and yes, i realize this turned into more of an exercise in snarkiness than anything. but aren’t we all entitled to a little snarkiness here & there?

i just want to say that not one, but both of these frightening apparitions appeared in my email in-box over the weekend. it’s enough to put a girl off her cappucino.

i have no idea what’s in the water but honestly, am i expected to wear this madness? i wasn’t that familiar with the 80%20 brand before, and now i know why. and really…michael kors, i expected more of you.

so, i’m actually in the process of writing up some lovely marc jacobs praise, but i came across this sloan dot square tote and had to yell just a little. it’s adorable, no? great color, love the mixed dot texture. and $300…well, that’s pretty reasonable. until you realize it’s PVC.

am i the only person who’s actually a little offended that someone would try to sell me a plastic handbag for $300??

so, you guys know i rarely spend time on negatives. really, fashion is supposed to be fun, not stressful or tedious. and i try to keep you all out of the “business side” of things - i never share when i have a beef with an advertiser, or a disappointing experience with a designer (fortunately, they’re few and far between). but i had to share this story about a store i’ve been dealing with recently.

i got an email from the lovely people at shoptwigs.com recently, asking me to become an affiliate (basically, so that we could work together on bringing you guys discounts, exclusives, etc…it’s good stuff). shoptwigs has always been a very reputable site, known for stocking great designer wares, and they’re one of my first stops when i’m shopping online. so, i was happy to talk with them. we chatted quite a bit, and i got through the application process & got everything all lined up. but they never approved my application. i emailed to follow up, and never heard back. okay….weird, since they solicited me, but fine - i have enough friends.

fast forward to yesterday, when i get an email from someone with a gmail address, telling me she’s a reader of shoppingsmycardio, and she wanted me to let you all know about a discount going on at shoptwigs, which she knew about because a “friend” of hers worked there. she even told me she “scored” a leather jacket with the code.

at first, i was thrilled, and all ready to write up a post telling you guys about the deal. but then it occurred to me…i knew i’d seen her name somewhere before. so i searched my email archives, and sure enough…it’s the marketing rep from shoptwigs that had emailed me way back!

now, if she had just emailed me as herself, telling me shoptwigs was offering this fabulous discount, i’d have been more than pleased to share it with you all (and if you’re really interested in it, drop me an email - i don’t really feel like giving her more press than i need to. it’s only good on see by chloe merch, fyi). but really, to disguise herself as a reader, pretend she doesn’t work at shoptwigs, and even say she “scored a leather jacket” to make it sound more believable?

is it just me, or does this just reak of those awful spam emails that advertise fake designer watches?