what not to wear: anthropologie’s latest

i’ve been so enchanted with anthropologie’s styling over the last couple of years, i was sort of shocked to hate their latest ensemble as much as i do.  so, it’s time for a little thursday snark.

please, whatever you do – do not wear a knee-length skirt with contrasting tights, ankle boots and this horrid sweater that i think i owned back in the early 1980s.  if you’re going to try the dicey ankle-boot-and-skirt trend, please see that your skirt is a mini, and that you have the gams to pull it off.  this longer skirt makes the ankle boots look positively frumpy, and focuses all of your attention on the model’s knees.  i have yet to meet someone with truly gorgeous knees, so i do my best to avoid spotlighting them.  skirts should really only exist in two lengths: they should either hit right at the point where your thighs narrow, or right at the base of your kneecap.  in my book, there really are no other acceptable lengths…unless you’re one of the 3 people on the planet who can pull off calf-length skirts (and even then, there must, must, must be some volume to the skirt, to avoid looking like a Mormon churchgoer).

i have no idea what’s going on with all of the highwaters in this shoot…just another error in judgment in a long chain.  highwaters are something i’ve never understood.  i mean, capris i understand.  i don’t necessarily agree, but i understand.  and a well-tailored, slim ankle-length pant can be positively audrey hepburn if you’re as pixie-like as she was.  but with the flare, and the bizarre footwear choices, this combination just looks like the model is wearing her little sister’s pants.

the rest of the looks really don’t warrant my full snarking attention…they’re just very meh.  i’ve become so accustomed to loving everything i see at anthro that it’s sort of restored my faith in the volatility of fashion to see how much i detest these latest offerings.

here’s hoping this is just a temporary lapse, and they haven’t changed stylists.  otherwise, we’re in for a rocky road ahead…

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10 comments on “what not to wear: anthropologie’s latest

  1. Angela

    Oh no! Not my favorite Anthro!!! How could they do this? I agree, it’s just not up to usual Anthro standards. I truly is a sad day. Hopefully they will make a comeback.

  2. Jessie

    SMC, maybe they feel bad about the sluggish economy and they don’t want us to be sad that we don’t have cash to shop…

  3. Jessie

    P.S. I totally agree on the whole skirt length Mormon churchgoer thing! I can not bring my self to wear a midcalf length skirt.

  4. Nic

    Ah, I thought the same thing when I got my Anthro email. Now, I understand the nostalgia thing– dressing like your kindergarten self, if you were a hip 5 year old– but this spread was obviously created by someone who confuses whimsical with ridiculous.

    And how in the heck did they make a 6′ model look shorter than Avril?!

  5. Meagan

    It looks like the model puked on her feet–gross. I’m with Jessie–this just makes me feel better about not having the money to spend there.

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  8. Lisa

    LOL! Very funny! And I agree completely. Maybe Anthropologie’s just plain ol’ tired of their customers spending large wads of cash in their store and they’re trying to discourage it. You go Anthropologie–your win! I wouldn’t be caught in any of that crap.

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